The RAW Recap 7/18/11

If you're a wrestling fan and you're not aware what happened just a few nights ago on WWE's Money in the Bank PPV, then you seriously need to rethink your priorities.

Not to belabor the point, it's the first time in quite a long time where you shouldn't need to qualify your love for professional wrestling. It's a brand new world, and WWE RAW showed us the first few steps into it. Without further ado, let's hit the...

RECAP

Vince comes out and really sells his shame and anger about CM Punk taking the title and running. He announces that there is to be a new WWE Championship, and that the winner of an impromptu tournament will be the new champion. The brackets are laid out, and with it we get the promise of a full night of wrestling!

Round 1: Alex Riley vs. The Miz

This isn't a match up we haven't seen before, but Miz sells his injuries from the previous night. Riley has really picked up his game, and though he's a bit sloppy, his high energy and high intensity makes him somebody who could go places. Miz manages to pull this one out, despite being injured, saving him from completely looking like Riley's bitch as of late.

VERDICT: FUN MATCH! These two basically just beat the crap out of each other each match, but that somehow remains interesting.

Round 1: R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

The oddball of the first round, this match had two heels facing one another. Thankfully, the two's natural abilities made this a cool, if not somewhat quick match. The crowd actually seemed to get behind R-Truth at points. That's kinda cool, and I'm glad a guy like Ron Killings is getting showcased. Truth steals one with a roll-up.

VERDICT: SOLID! Swagger and Truth can bring it, and they provided an entertaining match.

Round 1: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

I thought it was a bit weird that Del Rio was placed in the tournament, as he also had Money in the Bank, although I guess a tourney for the WWE Championship wouldn't be complete without him. Kofi, despite being a face and an exciting guy, gets no love from tonight's audience, and his high energy moveset suffers for it. Luckily both guys are top performers, and it was a nice twist having Kofi take the upset. Gives him a bit of a boost, and continues the storyline of Del Rio being veritably screwed out of every chance he has at the title. Also; Ricardo Rodriguez is back!

VERDICT: SOLID! Another great first round match.

Round 1: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The prospect of Dolph winning double gold is an intriguing one. Zig's been a guy that's really come up in my eyes. Speaking of my eyes, it's also always good to see Vickie Guerrero (rawr). But anyway, I thought this was the highlight of the first round. Both guys are incredibly athletic, and there were some gnarly spots to the outside that looked like they genuinely hurt. I appreciate when both guys really go for it, as it gives legitimacy to the thing they're fighting for. Rey takes it, perhaps unsurprisingly, but nobody was a loser in this match.

VERDICT: BEST OF THE FIRST ROUND! Both Ziggler and Mysterio deserve equal praise.

7-on-7 Diva Tag Match

If you read that and think it's a ridiculous idea, that's only because it is. To make a long story short, this was another two minute Diva match that had no point. The only bright spot I can see is that Beth Phoenix was the one to come in and get the win for the face Divas with an impressive Glam Slam.

VERDICT: POINTLESS! Why give the Divas so little time? If you want them to look legitimate in the eyes of the fans, then build genuine feuds and give them time to have good matches!

Round 2: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This was a fairly forgettable match, sadly. Again, Kofi can't rile the crowd, and he doesn't attack Miz's injuries like Riley does. This ends up being just a standard contest between these two, with Miz using his head to take it.

VERDICT: MEH! Both these guys can be fun to watch, but without the psychology of the leg injury, and with Kofi getting no crowd reaction, it just kinda fizzled.

Round 2: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Now THIS is more like it. These two have worked together well before, and they do it again here. Truth is the clear favorite here, and Rey works his normal underdog schtick. However, with the unorthodox moveset that each of these dudes has, the match is incredibly entertaining. Rey takes the hard fought victory from Truth, much to the delight of the crowd.

VERDICT: GOOD STUFF! Truth and Rey work great together.

And then comes the finale that everyone is talking about. The finals of the tournament are teased, with Rey still in the ring ready to face Miz. Instead, Vince hits the ring and tells Rey that the finals will conclude the next week. He has something important (IE firing John Cena) to do right now. So Rey leaves, and out comes Cena.

Before Vince can say a thing, Cena takes the mic and pleads his case. He insists he's not gonna kiss Vince's ass, and that he loves his job. Vince don't care, and is about to fire John when...

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! Triple H makes an unexpected appearance, but he's in a rather somber mood. And in one of the sappiest and cheesiest segments in WWE RAW history, a tearful Triple H informs Vince that the "board of directors" have replaced Vince with Hunter as the acting head of WWE, and that Vince is relieved of his duties. Triple H then proceeds to tell Vince that "I LOVE YOU, POP" before leaving a crying Vince to end the show.

A fine finish, sure, and one that intrigues and leaves one wondering what next week holds, but just so damn cheesy! I guess this is wrestling after all. Still, a hell of a good RAW from top to bottom.

Stay tuned for this week's The Internet is for Wrestling. Don't know what that is? Then check out the FIRST, SECOND, and THIRD installments to getchoo some goodness!

The RAW Recap 7/4/11

You'd think that when taping a show that would be played on 'Merica's birthday, WWE would bring their A game. Heck, the company made a huge deal when Osama was killed, and they're famous for their patriotic characters.

Sadly, no matter how good this RAW was, it had to follow in the wake of CM Punk's amazing promo from last week. And with CM Punk nowhere in sight, just how good could this RAW be?

RECAP

Cena Opens the show, a main event is announced, and Vince is said to be on his way to the building. Pretty standard opening, but their addressing CM Punk's promo from last week so directly kinda takes the steam outta the angle.

Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres vs. The Bella Twins

Not much to say about this at all, as might be expected. It makes me sad to know that Beth Phoenix and Gail Kim are having great matches on Superstars, yet the TV audience sees matches like these. No wonder nobody can stand the Divas division.

VERDICT: BAD. VERY BAD.

Promo for Andy Levine pops up. I really wanna see what he can do in a real match, but I hope they take their time developing him.

Santino and Kozlov vs. Otunga and McGillicutty

Santino and Kozlov are great. They may not be the most technically sound, but damn if they aren't entertaining as all hell. Sadly, the team they're against is the opposite of entertaining. Otunga and McGillicutty are just so damn boring! This is a decent little tag match, but these four have actually had one better on Superstars. Still can't get over Nexus having the belts...

VERDICT: OK. There's always some entertainment to be had in a match with Santino.

ZACK RYDER SIGHTING! WWWYKI

Sargent Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger makes Sarge angry and therefore IT'S MATCH TIME! I'm always a little leery of having legends past their prime step back in the ring, but this diversion was successful enough. Swagger beats up on Sarge and Evan Bourne makes the save. We get some July 4th goodness and the Bourne/Swagger feud is given one more piece of fuel to keep going.

VERDICT: HARMLESS. Sure, this diversion wasn't necessary, but it ate up like no time and was good fun.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

There have been a lot of 3 and 4 way matches featuring these three, and this match reminds us why. BECAUSE THEY'RE GREAT AT THEM! There are some great three-man spots, and I honestly wasn't sure who was gonna take this one. In the end, the win goes to ADR (and a number one contender spot with it). Good decision, and an even better match.

VERDICT: MATCH OF THE NIGHT. These three always bring it.

Dolph and Vickie have a pretty silly segment. I'm not afraid to say that I actually enjoyed this segment, as it reminded me of some really old school heel/manager segments. It's also worth mentioning that Lawler's comments about Vickie at this point are not only unfunny, but just really dumb at this point.

Miz vs. Alex Riley

Another back and forth brawl between these two. Somehow that remains entertaining, mainly because the Miz has good ring psychology and Riley is SUPER over. It's ridiculous how much the fans love this guy. Miz also puts a good post-match beatdown on Riley.

VERDICT: GOOD. These two don't put on spectacular matches, but they're solid and have a decent story backing them.

The show ends with Vince and Cena having an argument about whether Punk should be reinstated. This angle has EVERYONE bringing their best to the table, and this is no exception. Vince and Cena both convincingly plead their case, and in the end, Punk is reinstated. Of course there's also the stipulation that Cena will be FIRED if he loses, which kinda takes some of the drama out of the match (which is kinda the opposite of its intention), but this is still a better angle than WWE has had in some time.

Overall, RAW tonight was just okay. It had its highs, but it felt a tad empty without the presence of CM Punk and without more than one extremely good match, it's just not terribly exciting.

Stay tuned for my second installment of The Internet is for Wrestling. Until then, check out the first installment and enjoy some wrestling!

RAW Recap 5/17/11 (Cole Phelps Edition)

As I emerged from a haze of playing L.A. Noire and some extremely light "studying" for finals, I realized something... I hadn't fulfilled my obligation to the two faithful readers of the Rotunda and hadn't done a RAW recap.

So, now thirty minutes to 12 pm here on the west-coast, I'm just going to wrap this up in a nice tidy package, one that's probably much more efficient than my normal schtick. So without further ado... what was good and what sucked with last night's RAW!!!

WHAT WAS GOOD?!?!

• CM PUNK WRESTLES A MATCH! BEATS KOFI!
• KHARMA AGAIN! SHE'S COOL!
• REY MYSTERIO AND ALBERTO DEL RIO ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD MATCH!
• R-TRUTH IS CRAZY! HE SHOULD NEVER CHANGE!
• ZACK RYDER MAKES AN APPEARANCE!

WHAT SUCKED?!?!

• DIVAS MATCH WAS NEEDED TO TRIGGER KHARMA APPEARANCE! WAS NOT GOOD!
• ANOTHER LONG LAWLER AND COLE SEGMENT! DEAR LORD, MAKE IT STOP!
• TAG CHAMPS LOSE TO TWO NEXUS MEMBERS WHO NEVER WRESTLE!
• SWAGGER VS. CENA MATCH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NO-HOLDS-BARRED! WAS VERY HOLDS-BARRED!

Whew.

Now, if I may type normally again, I will sum up RAW as thus; it's a show that often has just as much, if not more wrestling and genuine talent as its counterpart on Friday nights. The problem is, RAW is still bogged down in stupid storylines and tired rivalries, and thus it seems like a much worse show. I'd give Monday's episode a 3 star rating out of 5. There's something good here, but it's surrounded by a crispy "stupid" shell.

And with that, I apologize to anybody who actually enjoys the RAW recap for the lack of quality/timeliness of this installment. Hopefully, I'll be at a stable point in L.A. Noire by Friday to make good on the SmackDown sum-up.

Until then, check out last week's installment, HERE.

And have a look at my new weekly feature, the Wrestling Showcase, HERE

RAW Recap 5/9/11

The growing battle cry for wrestling fans is the simple "I Want Wrestling" mantra. This is definitely something I subscribe to as, although the simple act of "wrestling" has never been what the business was about, the ratio of wrestling to utter stupidity has reached dangerous levels in many promotions. WWE itself, the biggest wrestling promotion on the planet has, for many years, been more about working the mic than running the ropes.

But last night's RAW actually had wrestling. 6 matches in total filled out the show's two hours. However, even after that, I found myself relatively bored with the whole thing. The reason? Let's hit the recap and try to discern that...

• Number One Contender: Alberto Del Rio opens the show with a monologue about why he should be given a shot at the title. Before he gets too far, however, Rey comes out and says basically the same thing. Then the Miz. Then R-Truth. In fact, this opening segment is something that WWE just recently did when setting up the cage match for Extreme Rules. While this sort of thing works on occasion, it all just felt so tired as the opening this week. Don't get me wrong, with Rey and ADR just arriving on RAW, it's good to see them getting in the title picture already, but couldn't this be done another way?
• Anyway, the GM rings in and decides to make a triple threat match for the main event to determine the number one contender. That means that R-Truth ends up getting left out, allowing for him to continue his tirades about not getting a shot at the "big one". Again, this opening did one thing, and that was to set up the main event. Yet it took up a good chunk of show, and only POSSIBLY advanced one storyline. It just wasn't what the show needed to open up.

• Just Put her in a match, already!: A Divas tag match takes place, but really the only notable thing is that, as is the norm now, Kharma comes out during the post-match to attack somebody. This time, it's Eve Torres (who we miss get decked by Kong because of some shoddy camera work). I don't deny this has been an entertaining string of appearances by Kharma, but at some point, I think the audience GETS IT. Just put her in a match already so Kharma can show off some more of her repertoire!

• So Much for Mason Ryan...: So Mason Ryan actually gets a legitimate shot at Kane, which I figure is going to be used to further set up his big MONSTER persona. It doesn't. A mediocre match that ends in a disqualification as Kane was on the verge of victory. Kane and Big Show then clear out Nexus. I don't know if it's because they want Kane and Show to be in a collective feud against Nexus, but then what the heck was the random Mason Ryan thing last week? I didn't get it, and there just wasn't a good match to attach to it.

• Ziggler vs. Santino: Santino takes on the "new look" Ziggler in a bit of a squash. I'm glad that they're actually BUILDING up Ziggler as a legitimate threat again, likely to take on Kofi Kingston, but a squash is a squash. Just another "meh" installment.

• Zack FUCKIN' Ryder!!!: He makes an appearance... I was excited.

• Cena vs. Riley: Alex Riley, who for some reason is not on SmackDown despite being drafted there, takes on John Cena for the "honor" of his master, the Miz. This was actually not a bad match. The problem, however, is that I don't think anybody believed Riley had a chance in this match. At all. It was fine, sure, and I liked Cena's taunting of Miz by doing multiple AA's on Riley, but it just wasn't terribly exciting. Decent, though.

• This is the angle that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends...: Cole and Lawler are feuding! Isn't that so great that this dumb announcer vs. announcer feud has been going on for a good three months or more now? I know I sure am. More of this nonsense ensues, and Swagger hits Lawler from behind. Awesome.

• Kingston vs. Swagger: Out of nowhere, Kofi defends his belt against Swagger. I'm kind of getting fed up with this lack of build up for these secondary titles, but WHATEVER! A MATCH! And heck, this was a good one, which is probably to be expected with the quality of performers both these dudes are. Kofi takes the victory in the match of the night.

• The Main Event: Rey, Del Rio, and Miz square off in the main event. This was another great match (yeah, surprising I know), but the problem was, despite the stakes and the people involved, the audience gave no reaction! I don't understand what their problem was, but despite their being some pretty good three-person spots in this match, nobody seemed to care. Still, there were some really cool moments here in a good match. Still, I feel like it's silly that Miz took the victory, and the number one contender spot. I woulda liked to see somebody else take on Cena, but oh well. Cena makes the match for Over the Limit as an "I Quit" match, and R-Truth attacks Rey as the show ends. Weird...

In the end, Monday's episode of RAW has me torn. On the one hand, it had a lot of wrestling for an episode of RAW. On the other, very little of that wrestling was either quality or worthwhile. There was some good stuff, but the pacing was so off that it made it difficult to enjoy. If I had to give it a score, I'd give it 3 out of 5 for sheer volume and for the pair of quality matches included.

SmackDown sum-up coming up later this week, as is the showcase, so stay tuned all five of my loyal readers.

Until next time...

SmackDown Sum-up 4/29/11

The Draft is over. Extreme Rules is this Sunday. Yet, to me at least, there seems to be almost a deflated sense of excitement heading into the PPV. With some SmackDown superstars saying farewell, and others just getting introduced to their new surroundings, would this be a strong finish to this iteration of the show, or is WWE running on fumes heading into Extreme Rules?

• The RKO Show: Randy Orton opens the show, basically going to do the whole schpeel about being on a new show and "making a statement" and all that jazz. However, who should come out by recent RAW draftee Drew McIntyre. McIntyre tries to get one over on Orton, going for a Future Shock, but reverses and RKO's McIntyre.
• As Randy's about get on with his rambling, Alex Riley interrupts and Orton RKO's him, now. Finally, Alberto Del Rio comes out and, with back-up from Brodus Clay, has Randy outnumbered and surrounded. Christian comes out for the save, and the Main Event for this SmackDown is set up as a tag team match with Orton and Christian vs. ADR and Clay. I found this opening to be kind of silly, but it did its job with establishing Orton as one of the "top guys" on SmackDown now. I think it's funny that they'd use McIntyre in the fashion they did, essentially putting him on the same tier as Alex fuckin' Riley. Either way, the curtain was jerked and SmackDown was underway in earnest.

• Sheamus Assaults Kingston: After their match on RAW, it looked like it was to be a return match with Sheamus taking on Kofi Kingston. After the fact that that match was a little... meh for what it could have been, I was looking forward to this, but instead Sheamus just blind-sides Kingston and beats up on him before a match can even get underway. That's more than a little disappointing, but again, I feel like they were establishing early that this SmackDown was intended to be a transition, one that filled in what the recently drafted's roles would be. Still, this took the show to around the 20 minute mark, and there had yet to be any genuine wrestling. I'm not a fan of that trend.

• Swagger vs. Sin Cara: After a painfully long introduction from Michael Cole (seriously, this angle needs to stop, and Cole needs to stay as just a commentator), Jack Swagger is set to take on Sin Cara. This looked like an interesting match up from the on-set, with Sin Cara typifying the lucha libre archetype, and Swagger the collegiate wrestler. As such, the match had a really good flow, with Swagger beating up on Cara for a while, Cara exploding with a burst of athleticism, and so on. Cara even picked up the victory convincingly when Swagger was distracted letting Cara roll him up with a Victory Roll. Overall, this was probably the match of the night, and if Swagger wasn't headed to RAW, I'd have liked to see where this odd match-up could go.

• Big Show and Kane retain: When Big Show was drafted to RAW this Monday, I figured that was bad news for his and Kane's run as tag team champions. When it was announced they'd be up against the former champs Slater and Gabriel in a rematch, I went ahead and predicted that the Corre would quickly get back their belts and Kane and Show would go their separate ways on separate shows. I was wrong. In a pretty decent match that actually took me by surprise, Kane and Show overpower Slater and Gabriel and retain their titles. What does this mean with them being on separate shows? Hell if I know, but I'm glad that WWE didn't just go with the predictable outcome. Now if they could just decide what it is they wanted to do with the Corre...

• Rey says goodbye, Henry says hello: Rey comes out and actually gives a pretty heartfelt speech about his leaving SmackDown. Of course, Mark Henry needs to be built up as the new big heel on SmackDown. This is dumb. I haven't liked the direction they've taken Henry in about forever, and to have him be the big guy heel again with no variation on that character is just dumb. Sadly, Rey has to put him over in this match, which ends in a disqualification when Cody Rhodes interferes. Rey gets beat up again, and another paper bag slipped over his face. Did we really need all this when Cody and Rey's rivalry is already pretty established, and Cody has already gotten the best of Rey on multiple occasions? No. No we did not.

• Somebody's leaving WWE, and I'm not sure anybody cares: Layla and Michelle McCool continue their feud with what seems like is going to be a match. However, just a few minutes into the match, both Divas find themselves on the outside and the match ends in a double count-out (which EVERYBODY loves). Layla gets on the mic and says the two should have a match at Extreme Rules to settle things once and for all. Michelle accepts on one condition; that the loser would leave the WWE. DUN DUN DUN!
• Yeah, unsurprisingly, the audience reaction to this, a career-ending match, was a tad underwhelming, but that goes with the territory with the Divas division nowadays. I really don't know WHO it could be that's set to lose this match, though I think early indications are that it could be Michelle McCool. I certainly do think Layla has better overall potential, so I'd like for her to be the one that comes out on top here, but I think the Divas division as a whole needs help, and losing one of their competitors just makes it weaker, not stronger.

• A Prelude to Extreme Rules: Last up (as it tends to be) was the main event. Christian sets things up with what is, quite frankly a killer promo. With Del Rio headed for RAW, I can't imagine Christian losing this thing, but I suppose anything could happen. Anyway, the main event match is pretty standard fair. Given who the teams were, I think it was pretty obvious who would take it, and sadly Del Rio doesn't get in the match nearly enough. As such, the pace is pretty deliberate, with only a few genuinely cool moments. In the end, Orton hits Brodus with the RKO to give him and Christian the victory. I assume that, after Christian wins this Sunday, one of his first big threats will be against Orton, but again, things may take a swerve. Overall, it was an ok match, but a fairly standard, predictable, and meaningless main event.

I personally think that Extreme Rules could be a very good PPV. It'll be the end of the road for many a feud, and as such has the potential to be extremely satisfying from a pure wrestling standpoint. The problem is, this was a fairly weak week in terms of either A.) exciting wrestling or B.) proper set up for the PPV. SmackDown was slightly better than the disaster that was RAW's Draft show, but only just. Two out of five stars.

I'm optimistic, though, that the post-Extreme Rules WWE will be a much more exciting place, and hopefully one that features a bigger spotlight on the up and coming talent that the company has. At least that's my hope.

Sadly, unless I can find a LEGITIMATE AND COMPLETELY LEGAL* method of viewing Extreme Rules, I probably won't have a write up for it, but I'll definitely be back next week with the RAW Recap, the SmackDown Sum-up, and possibly some more wrasslin' goodness.

*will likely not actually legally purchase the PPV

Until then...

Rix Raw Recap 4/25/11 (DRAFT EDITION)

Woo boy, where can I start with last night's episode of Monday Night RAW. Well, we all knew that the Draft was going down, and as such I'd somewhat resigned myself that the show was going to be mostly about the surprising draft picks and less about the actual wrestling. I was cool with that, because quite frankly, the object of the draft is to "shake things up" as Mr. McMahon would say it.

But perhaps the timing wasn't right for the Draft, as with a PPV coming down the pike this Sunday, RAW attempted to clumsily balance the Draft with some actual wrestling AND the continuation of storylines heading into Extreme Rules. The results of which were scatter-shot at best, and nearly unwatchable and pointless at worst. With the Draft continuing on into today (yes, they really only "drafted" about 5 or 6 people last night) some of my info. may be off, but let's take a look at last night's episode to see if we can't see just what the heck happened.

• There's a Battle Royal going on...: The show opens with, of all things, a brand Battle Royal. Apparently, whoever manages to win the Battle Royal will win the first draft pick for their brand, but this information had to be cobbled together mid-match since the show just opened WITH NO INTRO. People said they didn't like this match, to which I agree and disagree. In my nature, I genuinely like the stupidity of Battle Royals, and although this is the second one that's gone down in three weeks time, I personally didn't mind it. I even thought there were some decent little exchanges and spots as the ring got less and less crowded. The only problem I really had with it was the fact it just sort of happened, with no announcement of its purpose or anything. This bout of confusion would be telling, however, of the show that was about to unfold.

• The Champ is WHERE?: What followed the Battle Royal was actually one of the bright spots of the night. In a shocking move, John Cena, poster boy of WWE and RAW mainstay, is drafted onto SmackDown! Until recently, I've always perceived SmackDown! as the "developmental" show, but lately I've come to enjoy SmackDown! much better, and this led credence to the worth of that program (and perhaps the company's willingness to push SmackDown! as more than just its "B" show). This of course, like most things tonight, turned out to be wishful thinking.

• The Dastardly R-Truth: To me, this is where the show truly began to derail. R-Truth, recently turned heel, gets a big segment to basically yell at the crowd and build his heel persona. I like R-Truth, and I actually think he probably makes a better heel than a face, but this thing just went on way too long. Between the audience's constant interjections and the short brawl between Truth and Morrison at the end, this thing pushed RAW past the 30 minute mark, and all that had occurred on the show was a Battle Royal and John Cena being drafted. 1/4 of the show was gone and really nothing had happened.

• What IS This?: Layla and Eve Torres start a match. Michael Cole interrupts the match and Layla is pinned practically in the background. This is probably more telling about WWE's confidence in the Divas division; as they are pushing the "commentator vs. commentator" angle more than victories or losses by Divas; but seriously. What the hell was the point of this? It only helped to hurt the show, not help it, and continued to lack what would have seemed to have been the obvious point of the show: WRESTLING AND DRAFTING.

• Rey Goes to Raw, Cody Remains Emo: Perhaps the one bit of storyline advancement I actually liked, Rey Mysterio gets drafted to RAW. I like Rey a lot, and though he gets nowhere near the respect he deserves in WWE, I'm glad he's now on the "premier" show. This also leads to a ridiculous and rambling promo by Cody Rhodes where he talks about... something. Honestly it was pretty silly stuff, but it briefly sets up the two's match for Extreme Rulez, and I like that they're actually giving Cody SOMETHING to work with. And hey, at the very least he didn't sound half as crazy as his dad.

• Kofi vs. Sheamus: Is Sheamus still an entity? I understand he's US Champion, but where once he was this monster, he seems to have really been downplayed recently. Case in point, in a match against Kofi Kingston (who had one pretty decisive loss two weeks ago against Ezekiel Jackson, and another loss last week to Wade Barrett), Sheamus is pretty swiftly taken out. What could have been a decent match that got both guys over instead ends with Sheamus taking a loss in an extremely quick fashion(for Sheamus, anyway). It left me scratching my head, quite frankly, but that seemed to be the trend of the night.

• The Viper Goes to SmackDown!: The above match of course results in SmackDown! getting a draft pick, which turns out to be Randy Orton. That's... about it. Moving along.

• And Then the Show Died: If one could spy me through the computer monitor whilst writing this, one might see just how difficult it is for me to recount what happened next on this "special" episode of Monday Night RAW. That is because, once again, instead of keeping the announcer's feud in a more background and implied function, WWE has decided to put dudes in the ring who have no business being there, and push a match with JR vs. Michael Cole. The only thing I can say to that is "Bleeeeeeeeegh". No, that isn't a word, but it is still far more intelligent than the gruel that went on for a solid ten or so minutes, as JR and Cole fumbled around in something that appeared to be fighting (with Jack Swagger eventually beating up JR). The only thing positive about this is that Cole ended up genuinely bloodied, and I believe JR may have broken something in his hand. While I don't wish real harm on either gentleman, it's just further proof that this whole Cole angle need to die and fast. And with that, any possibility of the show being good was lost...

• Ziggler vs. Orton: In an attempt to right a sinking ship, the newly SmackDown!'d Orton takes on Dolph Ziggler for two more Draft picks. Surprisingly, this match turned out to be just as (if not more) competitive than the Kofi/Sheamus match. I find this odd, but the show was actually showing wrestling now so fuck it. Overall, it was a pretty decent match, but the tone and pacing of the show had been so thoroughly destroyed at this point that it's hard to get terribly excited about it. Orton takes it and gets SmackDown! two more picks which leads to...

• Sin Cara and Mark Henry to SmackDown!: Seemed harmless enough, the new guy goes to the "developmental" show and a veteran joins as well. Heck, it SEEMED that WWE cared so little about this move as they don't even show it happen live (C.M. Punk interrupted the proceedings). However... apparently this was a huge plot point of the show. TAKE NOTE!!
  

• Mysterio vs. Barrett: Another match for a Draft pick, and wouldn't ya know this one was actually pretty decent. Again, though, it suffered from the quality of the show it was on (much like Ziggler vs. Orton) and as such, what could have been enjoyable was just another cog in a machine that was churning out shit all night. Barrett's a fine worker, and Mysterio of course makes any match watchable, but the night was winding down, and the show just continued to limp along. Mysterio takes the victory and the pick for his new home of Monday Night RAW.

• Tag Team Champs No More?: Last SmackDown!, the Corre lost significant steam and valuable steps toward their inevitable disbandment when they dropped the belts to Kane and Big Show. Now, on RAW, Big Show gets drafted... to the opposite show of where his partner and co-belt-holder is currently on. Now, I don't know if Kane remains on SmackDown! (at the time of this writing, I'm still not certain where everyone ended up), but this seems like WWE is firmly planting themselves in the (tag teams don't mean shit) realm. Heck, Show didn't even have the belt on him when he came out, and there was no mention or even reaction to "HEY, WE JUST SPLIT UP THE TAG CHAMPIONS". That... is pretty weak.

• Alberto Del Rio is RAW-bound: Perhaps a bigger move, Alberto Del Rio goes to RAW as well. I've no problems with that. ADR deserves a big audience. RAW provides that.

• Mercifully... the Main Event: Finally, after what seemed to be forever, we have our main event, a 6-man Tag Team match for the final pick. C.M. Punk, Miz, and ADR represent RAW, while Cena, Henry, and Christian represent SmackDown!. The talent in this match (particularly the RAW team and Christian) save it from mediocrity, and it's actually a pretty good match that showcased the RAW talent pretty well and, had it been backed by a good card, would have been a pretty decent main event. However, the swerve in this match, and the one that closed out the show... were pretty weird to say the least.
• Firstly, Mark Henry betrays his SmackDown! teammates. I'm sure this will be explained at some point, but it seemed utterly bizarre at the time. Secondly, RAW manages to take the match with Henry's help (leading to a pretty hilarious moment where Punk kisses ADR in celebration of RAW's victory), but RAW ends up... drafting John Cena? Erm... alright. I'm glad they decided to make that big change only to... not make a change at all. I understand it'd be a pretty risky move for Cena to make that jump, but that's what made it exciting. In my opinion, WWE copped out.

Whew, that's a very long-winded and unnecessary way of saying that last night's RAW basically sucked balls last night, but hey... that's what I'm here for. Now that that's over, I can only hope that WWE has nowhere to go but up from here. Following Extreme Rules, I hope that we'll see a lot more focus on wrestling as the current, and terrible angles (MICHAEL COLE) have ended and we work with new characters adapting to their new shows.

Last night's RAW deserves, as one might say, "MINUS FIVE STARS".