Woo boy, where can I start with last night's episode of Monday Night RAW. Well, we all knew that the Draft was going down, and as such I'd somewhat resigned myself that the show was going to be mostly about the surprising draft picks and less about the actual wrestling. I was cool with that, because quite frankly, the object of the draft is to "shake things up" as Mr. McMahon would say it.
But perhaps the timing wasn't right for the Draft, as with a PPV coming down the pike this Sunday, RAW attempted to clumsily balance the Draft with some actual wrestling AND the continuation of storylines heading into Extreme Rules. The results of which were scatter-shot at best, and nearly unwatchable and pointless at worst. With the Draft continuing on into today (yes, they really only "drafted" about 5 or 6 people last night) some of my info. may be off, but let's take a look at last night's episode to see if we can't see just what the heck happened.
- There's a Battle Royal going on...: The show opens with, of all things, a brand Battle Royal. Apparently, whoever manages to win the Battle Royal will win the first draft pick for their brand, but this information had to be cobbled together mid-match since the show just opened WITH NO INTRO. People said they didn't like this match, to which I agree and disagree. In my nature, I genuinely like the stupidity of Battle Royals, and although this is the second one that's gone down in three weeks time, I personally didn't mind it. I even thought there were some decent little exchanges and spots as the ring got less and less crowded. The only problem I really had with it was the fact it just sort of happened, with no announcement of its purpose or anything. This bout of confusion would be telling, however, of the show that was about to unfold.
- The Champ is WHERE?: What followed the Battle Royal was actually one of the bright spots of the night. In a shocking move, John Cena, poster boy of WWE and RAW mainstay, is drafted onto SmackDown! Until recently, I've always perceived SmackDown! as the "developmental" show, but lately I've come to enjoy SmackDown! much better, and this led credence to the worth of that program (and perhaps the company's willingness to push SmackDown! as more than just its "B" show). This of course, like most things tonight, turned out to be wishful thinking.
- The Dastardly R-Truth: To me, this is where the show truly began to derail. R-Truth, recently turned heel, gets a big segment to basically yell at the crowd and build his heel persona. I like R-Truth, and I actually think he probably makes a better heel than a face, but this thing just went on way too long. Between the audience's constant interjections and the short brawl between Truth and Morrison at the end, this thing pushed RAW past the 30 minute mark, and all that had occurred on the show was a Battle Royal and John Cena being drafted. 1/4 of the show was gone and really nothing had happened.
- What IS This?: Layla and Eve Torres start a match. Michael Cole interrupts the match and Layla is pinned practically in the background. This is probably more telling about WWE's confidence in the Divas division; as they are pushing the "commentator vs. commentator" angle more than victories or losses by Divas; but seriously. What the hell was the point of this? It only helped to hurt the show, not help it, and continued to lack what would have seemed to have been the obvious point of the show: WRESTLING AND DRAFTING.
- Rey Goes to Raw, Cody Remains Emo: Perhaps the one bit of storyline advancement I actually liked, Rey Mysterio gets drafted to RAW. I like Rey a lot, and though he gets nowhere near the respect he deserves in WWE, I'm glad he's now on the "premier" show. This also leads to a ridiculous and rambling promo by Cody Rhodes where he talks about... something. Honestly it was pretty silly stuff, but it briefly sets up the two's match for Extreme Rulez, and I like that they're actually giving Cody SOMETHING to work with. And hey, at the very least he didn't sound half as crazy as his dad.
- Kofi vs. Sheamus: Is Sheamus still an entity? I understand he's US Champion, but where once he was this monster, he seems to have really been downplayed recently. Case in point, in a match against Kofi Kingston (who had one pretty decisive loss two weeks ago against Ezekiel Jackson, and another loss last week to Wade Barrett), Sheamus is pretty swiftly taken out. What could have been a decent match that got both guys over instead ends with Sheamus taking a loss in an extremely quick fashion(for Sheamus, anyway). It left me scratching my head, quite frankly, but that seemed to be the trend of the night.
- The Viper Goes to SmackDown!: The above match of course results in SmackDown! getting a draft pick, which turns out to be Randy Orton. That's... about it. Moving along.
- And Then the Show Died: If one could spy me through the computer monitor whilst writing this, one might see just how difficult it is for me to recount what happened next on this "special" episode of Monday Night RAW. That is because, once again, instead of keeping the announcer's feud in a more background and implied function, WWE has decided to put dudes in the ring who have no business being there, and push a match with JR vs. Michael Cole. The only thing I can say to that is "Bleeeeeeeeegh". No, that isn't a word, but it is still far more intelligent than the gruel that went on for a solid ten or so minutes, as JR and Cole fumbled around in something that appeared to be fighting (with Jack Swagger eventually beating up JR). The only thing positive about this is that Cole ended up genuinely bloodied, and I believe JR may have broken something in his hand. While I don't wish real harm on either gentleman, it's just further proof that this whole Cole angle need to die and fast. And with that, any possibility of the show being good was lost...
- Ziggler vs. Orton: In an attempt to right a sinking ship, the newly SmackDown!'d Orton takes on Dolph Ziggler for two more Draft picks. Surprisingly, this match turned out to be just as (if not more) competitive than the Kofi/Sheamus match. I find this odd, but the show was actually showing wrestling now so fuck it. Overall, it was a pretty decent match, but the tone and pacing of the show had been so thoroughly destroyed at this point that it's hard to get terribly excited about it. Orton takes it and gets SmackDown! two more picks which leads to...
- Sin Cara and Mark Henry to SmackDown!: Seemed harmless enough, the new guy goes to the "developmental" show and a veteran joins as well. Heck, it SEEMED that WWE cared so little about this move as they don't even show it happen live (C.M. Punk interrupted the proceedings). However... apparently this was a huge plot point of the show. TAKE NOTE!!
- Mysterio vs. Barrett: Another match for a Draft pick, and wouldn't ya know this one was actually pretty decent. Again, though, it suffered from the quality of the show it was on (much like Ziggler vs. Orton) and as such, what could have been enjoyable was just another cog in a machine that was churning out shit all night. Barrett's a fine worker, and Mysterio of course makes any match watchable, but the night was winding down, and the show just continued to limp along. Mysterio takes the victory and the pick for his new home of Monday Night RAW.
- Tag Team Champs No More?: Last SmackDown!, the Corre lost significant steam and valuable steps toward their inevitable disbandment when they dropped the belts to Kane and Big Show. Now, on RAW, Big Show gets drafted... to the opposite show of where his partner and co-belt-holder is currently on. Now, I don't know if Kane remains on SmackDown! (at the time of this writing, I'm still not certain where everyone ended up), but this seems like WWE is firmly planting themselves in the (tag teams don't mean shit) realm. Heck, Show didn't even have the belt on him when he came out, and there was no mention or even reaction to "HEY, WE JUST SPLIT UP THE TAG CHAMPIONS". That... is pretty weak.
- Alberto Del Rio is RAW-bound: Perhaps a bigger move, Alberto Del Rio goes to RAW as well. I've no problems with that. ADR deserves a big audience. RAW provides that.
- Mercifully... the Main Event: Finally, after what seemed to be forever, we have our main event, a 6-man Tag Team match for the final pick. C.M. Punk, Miz, and ADR represent RAW, while Cena, Henry, and Christian represent SmackDown!. The talent in this match (particularly the RAW team and Christian) save it from mediocrity, and it's actually a pretty good match that showcased the RAW talent pretty well and, had it been backed by a good card, would have been a pretty decent main event. However, the swerve in this match, and the one that closed out the show... were pretty weird to say the least.
- Firstly, Mark Henry betrays his SmackDown! teammates. I'm sure this will be explained at some point, but it seemed utterly bizarre at the time. Secondly, RAW manages to take the match with Henry's help (leading to a pretty hilarious moment where Punk kisses ADR in celebration of RAW's victory), but RAW ends up... drafting John Cena? Erm... alright. I'm glad they decided to make that big change only to... not make a change at all. I understand it'd be a pretty risky move for Cena to make that jump, but that's what made it exciting. In my opinion, WWE copped out.
Whew, that's a very long-winded and unnecessary way of saying that last night's RAW basically sucked balls last night, but hey... that's what I'm here for. Now that that's over, I can only hope that WWE has nowhere to go but up from here. Following Extreme Rules, I hope that we'll see a lot more focus on wrestling as the current, and terrible angles (MICHAEL COLE) have ended and we work with new characters adapting to their new shows.
Last night's RAW deserves, as one might say, "MINUS FIVE STARS".
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