Monday, June 27, 2011

CHEESE-A-MANIA RUNNING WILD



Recently, at the compulsion of a community project on ComicVine.com by one XeroxKitty, I made a photo comic of sorts using some of my old WWF action figures.

Now, I'm no photographer, but since I'm hard up for new content and under the influence of some major writer's block here, I figgered I'd share these pics with my readers (whatever few I have). Hopefully you enjoy them and give you some nostalgic jollies...




Sunday, June 19, 2011

i-Rix Review: WWE All Stars

Professional wrestling's been a big part of my life ever since I was a child. Take that as you shall, but much like the industry's quality, even I'll admit that the quality of professional wrestling games fluctuates from great to embarrassingly bad. From that heap arrives WWE All Stars. Between its list of classic wrestlers and fun over-the-top action, there's a lot to potentially love in THQ's latest foray into the squared circle. However, a laundry list of finicky issues and lack of compelling content cut-down this top prospect in its prime.

CONTENT

The first big failing in WWE All Stars comes from its rather meager selection of modes and match types. There are one to four player variations in standard matches, tornado tag matches, cage matches, elimination matches, and "extreme rules" matches, but that's about it. Also, because of the way each match plays out, there's just not a lot of variation even in these different match types. These all play into the two main single-player modes, Path of Champions and Fantasy Warfare.

In Path of Champions, you take a superstar of your choosing through one of three "story-lines" in order to become a WWE champion. Each of these is accompanied by some pretty brilliantly produced cutscenes that have the champion of the given path taunting you in true professional wrestling fashion (the best of these involving the Undertaker and PAUL FREAKING BEARER cutting promos from their funeral parlor), which flesh them out more than simply being a series of matches on an arcade-style ladder. Fantasy Warfare, on the other hand, takes one superstar from the current generation and pits them in a "dream match" against a classic superstar. While the video packages that splice actual footage of both superstars together as if they were actually feuding are spectacular, and matches like Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. CM Punk for "Superior Lifestyle" make complete sense, some of these just feel a little forced. I'm sorry, but there is NO competition between John Morrison and Randy "Macho Man" Savage for "Most Charismatic". Throw in a pretty meek suite of online modes, and you've got all that WWE All Stars has to offer.

GAMEPLAY

Of course this is a wrestling game. Wrestling should be tantamount here. And for the most part, WWE All Stars is a lot of fun. Four attack buttons and two defensive buttons make up your combative capabilities, and by combining these together, you can string strikes, grapples, strikes and grapples, and signature maneuvers together in creative ways. There's a good, almost fighting game level of depth to the action that makes experimentation both fun and rewarding. The first time I saw my little brother bounce a guy up with a powerbomb, grab him out of the air and flip him over only to Spear him out of mid-air with Edge, I knew there was some big potential here.

Further adding to the variation is the fact that each wrestler falls into one of four categories that help determine his moveset and abilities. For example, Big Men like Andre the Giant and Kane have devastating strikes and grapples that throw the opponent around the ring and can absorb more punishment, where as Grapplers like Mr. Perfect and Jack Swagger can link together grapples into a near-infinite chain of punishing slams and submission holds. Further adding to the mayhem are Signature and Finishing moves, each governed by their own meters. A multi-tiered bar (which also governs your wrestler's stamina for running) can be expended to use a Signature maneuver, which are unique, show-stopping moves that can devastate your opponent and turn the tide in your favor. They also help substantially fill your Finisher meter, which when full, lets you charge up your wrestler's finishing maneuver which can end a match outright. Knowing when and how to use these, and experimenting with them is all part of the fun of All Stars.

But sadly, there are some extreme caveats to that fun. As I stated, All Stars is pretty lacking in modes. Once you beat the Path of Champions a couple times through with different dudes and finish up Fantasy Warfare, there's not a ton left to play around with. Part of this is due to a disappointingly small roster and, whilst other competitors are already up for DLC and more have been announced, the way THQ is dolling them out at a snail's pace isn't doing the game's short shelf-life any favors. This is expounded by the incredibly weak online options. It's enough that the modes and options aren't there, but with no penalty for rage-quitters, copious lag, and nobody playing online, there just aren't any legs to the game.

Lastly, even the minute to minute gameplay in All Stars has some big blemishes. For one thing, certain options in combat aren't viable in the least. Options like using weapons are worthless. Spotty hit detection and random happenings may be acceptable in wrestling games as a norm, but that doesn't make them any less aggravating. All Stars is no exception, and the fact that this is a game much more about fighting game execution than any other, that is doubly so. The first time you botch a reversal that you KNOW should have worked, or when your rope spring miraculously doesn't hit the opponent despite passing right through him, you'll be making a Cornette face.

PRESENTATION

The presentation in All Stars is similarly spotty. The cartoony artstyle fits perfectly with the action in-ring, and the animations given to these over-the-top moves are smoother than any recent wrestling game. Epic moments even occur in the slow-motion uber versions of your given wrestler's Signature and Finishing moves, and although the exaggerated physiques of each ring warrior look a little ridiculous, ridiculous is what this game's all about. Of course, the video packages and in-engine cutscenes (complete with more than competent voice-acting) are the best parts of the presentation here. Sadly, there's just a lack of character in the rest of package, and even some of the action is stilted with emotionless wrestlers going at it and some minor clipping. Also, as repetitive as this game already is, having to look at the same five or six rings doesn't help matters at all.

FINAL VERDICT

WWE All Stars is a fun game that is kept from greatness with its inconsistency. There are good ideas in the game's content, but it's overall lacking. The gameplay has some spectacular innovations, but a lack of polish keeps it from elevating above a certain base level of enjoyment. The presentation is inspired in points, and lazy in others. Overall, if you're a fan of professional wrestling, you'll want to check out All Stars if only for a novelty. There's something potentially special here, but there are just too many mistakes in this rookie outing. It's a prospect to watch, but right now it's just middling in the mid-card.

WWE All Stars gets 3 stars out of 5.

Friday, June 10, 2011

SmackDown Sum-up 6/10/11

How is SmackDown not the flagship of WWE? It has comparable talent to RAW, it has great production value, and puts on quite possibly the best overall wrestling show on television. Of course even great shows have off nights. Was tonight one of those nights for SmackDown?

NOPE! Let's hit the recap!

Christian Spits the Truth: Christian jerks the curtain with a heel promo with a Michael Cole assist. Christian's always been great, but WWE didn't seem to know how to utilize him as a face. As a heel, they're letting him go all out with his smug bastard-ness and he's turning out to be a fantastic heel. He's getting heat right away and building his rivalry with Randy Orton. Both are good ideas.

6-Man Tag: The Corre takes on Ezekiel Jackson and the Usos. While it's weird that they'd just throw the Usos together with Zeke to make a team, this actually turns out to be a decent enough match. The Corre and Zeke carry most of the action, but the Usos do a good job and seem to get over with the crowd alright in this match. Furthermore, this match continues to build up the tensions within the Corre. Wade leaves towards the finish and Gabriel and Slater get beat, leading Slater and Gabriel to tell Barrett that they won't have his back at Capitol Punishment. I think this means the belt is primed to be put on Zeke, which is a cool prospect, but only time will tell.

Jinder Mahal Squashing: Another squash match to set up how awesome Jinder Mahal is. I can't quite decide whether I like Mahal or not, but he's a big athletic dude, so I'm sure he has potential. He squashes Trent Beretta real nice here, and Great Khali comes in to apply the Kona Crush to him. We'll see how this duo plays out (primarily if they put the belt on Zeke).

AJ vs. Tamina: It's time for the obligatory Diva segment, which typically means a pointless two minute match that leads to nothing. However, they ARE trying to push the Divas face stable of SmackDown vs. the heel stable, and this match tries to further that. I'm not a fan of AJ's personality, as I feel WWE is trying too hard to appeal to dorks (LIKE ME) with her, but she's not a bad in-ring performance. And believe it or not, this was actually a fairly solid match. Decent psychology and a win for the face. Surprisingly, I want to see where this thing goes.

THE REAL MAIN EVENT: Okay, maybe that title's a little misleading, but this building feud has so many of my favorite performers and so much young talent that it DESERVES to be a top billed deal. First, Sin Cara takes on Ted DiBiase in a singles match that starts off fairly solid. However, Cody (who had another fantastic pre-match segment) interferes and gets Ted disqualified. Daniel Bryan runs in for the save and Teddie Long (in true Teddy fashion) demands the match be restarted as a tag match.
What follows is a great classic tag team contest. The heels control the action, wearing down the uber-technico Sin Cara, then Bryan gets hot-tagged in for the clear out and finish. It was a little predictable, yes, but every guy in this match is so much fun to watch work that I could care less. It's a shame they won't likely build this feud up into Summer Slam where I'll get to see these guys go at it live, but it's been a fun ride so far. Can't wait to see more.

Sheamus vs. Orton: Sheamus gets a no DQ, non-title match with Randy Orton... alright. I'm not complaining. This match actually starts off a little slow, and at points it devolves into a punch/kick fest. However, it actually had some decent "NO DQ" stuff including some kendo stick work and some pretty brutal stair spots. Sheamus actually gets power slammed onto the stairs, and the bump looks beyond brutal. In the end, and perhaps a little predictable, Christian brains Randy with the belt again and Sheamus gets the win. Of course this isn't about Sheamus, and Christian gets tons of heat going into Capitol Punishment.

SmackDown this week was great. It's not always such, but I maintain it's the best WWE has to offer. Story building, decent Divas match, Daniel Bryan, Sin Cara, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, stair bumps...

What else needs to be said? 5 stars out of 5.


The Weekly Showcase 6/10/11


I'm going to admit it. I haven't been keeping up with the Rotunda this week. I've watched plenty of wrestling, sure, but for some reason I've been a tad slacking in writing stuff for my little corner of the wrestling universe.

So this week's showcase is gonna be a short one and basically will just be "pimping my shit out" and to point out a pretty awesome match most people didn't see (which is what this thing is for, right?).

Anyway, above is my trailer for WWE '12 combined with Kanye West's "Power". It's kinda an inside joke, but I hope you enjoy anyway...

The other part is pimping out NWA Hollywood's weekly show. Since I live in the area that they broadcast, I got to see this awesomeness last Saturday, but now YOU TOO can see it.

The show this week is overall just okay, but ends with an AMAZING match between the RockNES Monsters (who are awesome) vs. The Cutler Bros. (also awesome) in a two out of three falls match. It's really good stuff with an even more amazing ending.

Anyway, SmackDown's on, so I'll peep you maniacs later...


Friday, June 3, 2011

SmackDown Sum-up 6/3/11


SmackDown is consistently better than RAW in the eyes of THIS reviewer (which, seeing as I have to wear contact lenses, are very poor). However, this week's RAW was actually exceptional, so what did Friday night's show come back with?

Let's hit the recap!
  • Christian vs. Mark Henry: After a brief summation of what's been happening with Christian in recent weeks, SmackDown opens right up with a match. It's not horribly long, and I'm not a huge Henry fan, but he's utilized well here. Christian has to chop him down and eventually gets the victory. The next segment has Christian demanding a title shot, only to be shot down by Teddy Long. Then, for some reason... Teddy names Christian as special referee for the Sheamus/Orton main event? I don't see the logic there, but without it, we get no BIG TWIST at the end of the show. Overall, an effective, if not average opening segment.

  • What Just Happened?: Out of nowhere, we get a Diva tag match with... some Divas I don't recognize. Honestly, I don't know who over half of the Divas actually competing were (Natalya's team). Even worse, just as I was getting used to each Divas style and actually getting slightly into the match, it ends. Thanks again, WWE, for these pointless segments.

  • Oh Cody. You so crazy: Cody Rhodes comes out and cuts a wicked promo. I like the build up and animosity they're going for between him and Daniel Bryan, but sadly I can bet that the pay-off will still come out underdeveloped. Nevertheless, great segment that shows off just how good Cody has gotten on the mic. Definitely one of my favorite heels in the company.

  • Jinder Mahal vs. Yoshi Tatsu: Jinder Mahal actually gets some time in the ring. The match is a squash, with poor Yoshi Tatsu getting absolutely 0 offense in. This kinda upsets me as, yes, I understand it's meant to make Mahal look powerful, but instead it makes Tatsu look weak. This is because Mahal doesn't pull off anything really impressive. A necessary evil, but brings the show down nonetheless.

  • Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett: I was surprised to see this match-up, let alone this match-up for the belt. I figured the Corre would have some way of making sure Barrett walked away as champion. Sure enough, they do after a brief match that has Jackson dominating. I think they have the potential of over-hyping Zeke and making him a new Batista (or worse), but he's got a good intensity AND charisma that makes him fun to watch. I don't think he should be man-handling the Corre each week, but I wouldn't be opposed to them sticking the IC belt on him.

  • Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase Jr.: Match of the night! It's been a while since we've really seen DiBiase's in-ring ability stretched, but him and Bryan put on an awesome match. Tons of false climaxes, back and forth action, stiff striking, big spots. This match had it all. Rhodes attacks Bryan after he beats DiBiase, but who should run to American Dragon's aid than Sin Cara. That was a nice surprise, and the promise of the two tagging together is a really intriguing prospect.

  • Randy Orton vs. Sheamus: Pretty standard main event. Sadly, Randy DOES resemble John Cena a bit too much nowadays, as he'll get beat up a majority of the match and then have a miracle comeback, but this match was solid enough. Some good back and forth, and I'm becoming a bigger and bigger Sheamus fan the more I see him work. I nearly forgot Christian was reffing the match, his presence was that small until the finish. Orton picks up the victory and then SURPRISE, Christian makes his big heel turn. He brains Orton with his own belt, and walks off with it as SmackDown ends.
Decent card with solid matches from top to bottom. However, I can't help but feel that, without the Bryan/DiBiase match, this SmackDown would be dangerously close to mediocre. It still easily gets 3 stars out of 5 in my book, but I hope next week's installment is a little stronger.

Until then, keep an eye out for more updates, and check out some of my stuff from earlier in the week...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Weekly Showcase 6/2/11

Still reeling from the events of last weekend and still with PWG on my mind, I bring you the weekly showcase. First up on the docket is a promo that actually COMES from their big All-Star Weekend event that I was lucky enough to be a part of. Following Night One, PWG stars cut some promos to bring the hype for Night Two. None stuck out like this delightfully racist one from the Fightin' Taylor Boys...


Unfortunately, Chucky T had to pull out of Night Two because of an injured groin, and Ryan Taylor was grounded for taking steroids (if Chuck is to be believed), but this promo is still a hoot. In fact, it reminds me of another great promo PWG put out years back featuring Colt "Boom Boom" Cabana and El Generico...


Anyway, time for some ACTUAL wrestling. As was announced this week, the WWE's Kharma (aka, Awesome Kong) is going to be out for quite a while as she's pregnant. That's good for her, but sadly this means that we wrestling fans will have to continue to slog through the slim pickings of WWE Divas action until she returns (or the WWE gets smart and actual utilizes ladies like Nattie Neidhart and Beth Phoenix).

So I decided to feature a match with, not only Kong, but with some really great women's wrestling. It's once again a featured Chikara Podcast a-go-go match, and it features Kong with Raisha Saeed (AKA Cheerleader Melissa) taking on one of my favorite wrestling duos, Sara Del Rey and Daizee Haze. Enjoy.


Keep an eye out for more show recaps, and I'll see you next week on the showcase.